Summits and Cliffs

Those we host in our variable lives…
Sometimes people, sometimes events, sometimes thoughts, and sometimes feelings…

Feelings; a state that expresses a moment most beautifully…
There are no lies in feelings, and that’s where their beauty comes from…
Just like what I felt a moment ago…

My happiness soared to the peaks of the mountains with what my friend said.
Not much time passed, just 1 hour…
And the same happiness that was once on the edge of the cliff
plunged into despair with my expectations.
Now, it’s struggling down below…

I know it will rise again, stand up, and climb to that peak again.
From that peak, it will smile at people…

But I also know that it will throw itself off the cliff again with another disappointment…
And it will struggle again…

Do you think that after each fall, I climb back to the peak perfectly?
If you have such a misconception, you are really mistaken…
Very much so…

With each fall, my feelings scatter to a point where they can’t be put back together,
They shatter into pieces.

I just crashed again a moment ago…

I know that I will laugh again in a little while.
I will put on a mask again.
Then maybe a friend will come, take my hand, and take me to higher places.
I won’t be afraid to climb when my friend is with me.
With every word, I will be more encouraged and climb to that peak with more enthusiasm.

But it will suddenly disappear…

I will be alone at that peak… Yes, I will be alone at the peak…
I will begin to feel that I am reaching God…
I will see angels dancing around me.
The sun will wink.
The wind with its delicate body will make me comfortable at the peak.

I will feel… I am not the only ruler of these heavens and earth, but…
I will say I am the ruler of my dreams and realities…

And at that moment, someone will come…
They will approach stealthily from behind and push me down…
Or they will add happiness to my happiness.
And when I throw myself off the edge of the cliff, I will think I’ll fly like a butterfly.

But I won’t be able to fly.
I won’t understand at first.
Later, I will realize that there are cliffs below.

And when I realize, it will be too late.
I will already be struggling below.

This cycle of expectations and disappointments
Will continue until I reach the final summit.

And when that day comes
When I reach the final summit…

First, I will turn around and look at the peaks I’ve climbed,
the cliffs I’ve fallen from.
I will send a melancholy smile to my past.

Then I will look forward. Far, far ahead.
I will smile with a hint of mockery.
And I will slowly let myself down from the final summit.

For the last time…

At that moment, my soul will spread its wings into infinity.
Perhaps a single tear will fall behind me.
Or maybe no one will notice…